Welcome to my new website! I’ve been wanting to create an avenue of dialogue and coaching for some time now. I couldn’t think of a better day to launch Beyond Survival Coaching, then our families ‘Gotcha’ Day of Isaiah and Laila. My life has been drastically changed since my first trip to Swaziland, Africa back in August of 2006. Since then I have been to Africa eleven times, adopted to two children from Swaziland, launched a non profit and now launching this resource for leaders...
2016 BLOG ARCHIVEs
why beyond survival coaching?
leadership and conflict...it's going to happen
Because we are people, we have preferences, opinions and a past. All of those ingredients collide from time to time in our homes, in the work place and definitely within leadership. Sometimes this collision causes pain, stress and hurt. I found early in my life and career that I wasn’t really prepared for the heartache that comes with conflict. I read tons of books and practiced genuine care in hard situations. I didn't always get the outcome that I had hoped for. I hope some of these thoughts are helpful for you in your current reality...
the benefits of leaders developing other leaders
The Apostle Paul understood the importance of leadership development, as revealed in these instructions to Timothy. If you put yourself in Paul’s shoes, it’s easy to understand why: He was at the helm of a tiny, but rapidly growing movement tasked with changing the world. God gifted the early Church with the life-changing power of the Holy Spirit, but if it had any hope of surviving, it would also need to build a network of local leaders who were aligned to a common goal, capable of caring for new believers, equipped to prevent heretical teaching and mobilized to live out the Gospel...
when a leader is not a fit
If you are ever given the privilege to lead other leaders, at some point, you will be forced to deal with the reality that a teammate is no longer a fit on your team. Sometimes, because of urgency, fear, or convenience, you may be tempted to put a leader in a position in which they are not capable of leading. In this case, your heart is filled with good intentions. However, the more time that passes, the more it becomes abundantly clear that it was the wrong decision. The leader is not a fit for the role. You feel it, they feel it, and everyone who is attempting to lead with them feels it as well..
having faith when you're fatigued
I don’t know about you, but I often experience discouragement when I am tired. Like you, I make thousands of decisions each week. Those decision accumulate and slowly take energy away from me. If I am not careful, I get fearful and lose confidence...
I’ve been thinking about the topic of learned helplessness for several weeks now. I first learned about the topic years ago. I read about it in one of my favorite books that I read at least once a year, sometimes multiple times, called Necessary Endings by Henry Cloud. This time around, I’m challenged, even convicted in my leadership. I’m also concerned for the leaders I care about and love serving with locally, nationally and internationally. I’m asking this question: Have I/we settled? Have I stopped leading and surrendered to helplessness...
what's your replenishment cycle?
We are definitely experiencing a decline in motivation and performance in our house! Everyone is tired and cranky. I am worn out from long hours at work. We are all striving for some time off. We simply need a break. We need a different routine. We need to be replenished. Can you relate?
Are you exhausted and redlining?
A peach tree produces peaches, an apple tree produces apples, and a pear tree produces pears. But what does a burned-out peach tree produce? Often in leadership we believe we are the exception to a principle that God himself put into motion...You can only produce what you truly are. We believe that if we get up earlier, try harder, read more, and plan differently that we can produce a different fruit than what we truly are. Where does this type of thinking come from? Why would we think this way?
The difference between being refreshed and stressed
It’s been a while, but I feel very refreshed from my summer break. There is something extra special about being on a beach for me. It’s my happy place. It’s where I feel refreshed the most.
I have been thinking about the dramatic difference in how I feel when I am well rested verses when I am spent. Honestly, the feeling of being replenished has opened my eyes to a few things. I’ve wondered if you can relate also?
a season for everything?
You may have heard the song Turn Turn, by the Byrds at least a 1,000 times. It’s a catchy tune. It got me thinking though. I can’t help but ask the question, is there really a time for everything? Is there really a purpose for everything under heaven? It is easy for me to say “yes” when I am looking at someone else’s life. I can encourage them to have hope and believe that there is a purpose for what they are going through. However, when I look at my own life, I’m not so sure...
why team leadership is so painful
This past week was a hard one. Maybe you can relate in your home, family or place of work. When I have a week like this one, I tend to ask my self certain questions: “Am I really making a difference?” “Do I really want to be here and do this?” “Are we really making progress or just saying we are?” I know you have been there too. Oftentimes when we are working with others, it kind of feels like a warehouse remodel...
immanuel: god is with us
What sent the shepherds back to the fields rejoicing, what made the wise men fall down in wonder in the shadow of that baby? It was the gripping realization that they were in the presence of their Creator, now a baby boy. The name given, Immanuel, it means “God is with us,” had now become a reality. What does it mean for God to be with us? Why does the human race need "God with Us?"
choosing to invest in new beginnings
The New Year is one of my favorite times of year. There is something freeing and relieving to know I can start over and have a clean slate. I know there isn’t anything magical about January 1st. You can actually start over whenever you want. I think for me, it’s the fact that we are all conditioned to at least consider starting something new in the New Year...