The difference between being refreshed and stressed

It’s been a while, but I feel very refreshed from my summer break.  There is something extra special about being on a beach for me. It’s my happy place.  It’s where I feel refreshed the most.  


I have been thinking about the dramatic difference in how I feel when I am well rested verses when I am spent.  Honestly, the feeling of being replenished has opened my eyes to a few things.  I’ve wondered if you can relate also?   


In our culture and in my life, there is a sickness that is being worshipped.  I’ve paid close attention to friends and acquaintances  and our conversations over the past few months as we talk about what is going on in our lives.  


The default answer when asked, “hey buddy, how have you been doing lately?” is “busy, been really busy!” with a false smile on their face.  This is the standard deflecting answer seemingly in our society these days.  I even find myself running straight to that same answer when I am asked how life is going with me.    

However, when I am in a time of being and feeling refreshed, I am more sensitive of my responses and the responses of others.  I am trying not to respond by the absent “busy” answer.  My conclusion is this.  We live more months of the year feeling stressed out and overwhelmed than refreshed and at peace.  You may be saying, “duh,”.  


If so, this truth points us to an even great need in our mind, body, and spirit.  We need intentional rest in our lives.  In this time in my life of being refreshed, I wrote down a list of my observations of my state of mind.  I’d encourage you to write down a similar list.  Here is the point.  Schedule and protect times of rest for your self.  Everyone benefits when you are refreshed.  

As the Proverb says, “The generous will prosper, those who refresh others will themselves be refreshed.” (Proverbs 11:25 NLT).  When we are stale, burnt out and running on fumes, the last thing we are thinking about is refreshing others.  However, when we do refresh others, everyone benefits.  I’m convinced that I am unable to “refresh” anyone if I do not have rest.  What about you?  Be intentional.  Pull out your calendar.  Schedule time for you as a person to get rest. 

When I am refreshed I am:

  • A better leader
  • A more tender Father
  • A loving and patient husband
  • I make time for people
  • I take the opportunity to talk in the halls
  • I love on those I care about
  • I make time for the areas of my life that keep my healthy
  • I have a positive attitude and outlook on life
  • I refresh others
  • I want to sacrifice for the ones I love
  • I am more giving
  • I am thoughtful
  • I experience a greater satisfaction about my life
  • I dream more on how I can help and serve others.
  • I desire to be an encouragement to others.
  • I am more patient with others
  • I am more gracious towards those who offend me.
  • I listen with an empathetic ear.
  • I desire to bless others.
  • I am a more focused worshipper
  • I follow through on my disciplines
  • I accomplish my life goals
  • I seek out time to be with my life giving friendships

When I am stressed I am:

  • Tired and isolate myself
  • I don't want to be around people
  • I am short with my words
  • I have zero patience for unexpected interruptions
  • I am hypersensitive
  • I crave time to sit and not do anything
  • I am stingy
  • I avoid others
  • I am critical of my wife
  • I am annoyed with my children's needs
  • I don't listen
  • I am silent
  • I have no motivation to invest in others
  • I do not pursue others
  • I focus on my self
  • I don't schedule time with friends
  • I'm not a compassionate father
  • I hoard my resources
  • I judge others
  • I have a pessimistic attitude
  • I stop dreaming and start trying to survive
  • I don't work out & I'm demotivated to try
  • I don't care if I accomplish my goals
  • I want out.

I’m convinced  that I am unable to “refresh” anyone if I do not have rest.  What about you?  Be intentional.  Pull out your calendar.  Find dates and schedule time for you as a person to get rest.  Everyone will benefit. 


It’s my heart and passion to help leaders live out their calling and thrive. I believe your best days are before you.  It’s time to thrive. Let’s do it together. You are not alone. Click here to set up a Discovery Coaching call.